“My single comes home too late for me to have a conversation at night, and mornings are too rushed.
The first time I can have a few minutes for a real conversation is later that evening.
Some people may have a more mild mental disorder, which emerges every now and again, the frequency of which is only once or twice a year. Others can be more severe and can impact daily life. If you have a medical condition, it is best to share about it relatively early.
Find out more about the severity of the disorder of this particular person. It’s not about the condition, it is about the person who happens to have a condition. It displays a sense of confidence and that you have a handle of the situation.
It really depends on the individual and the specific issues. Relationships in general are really about weighing what you can live with and what’s a deal breaker. There will be triggers that will make it worse or better as you experience life’s ups and downs; are you prepared to deal with the lows? As far as the other person: It depends on the specific condition and level of severity and frequency.
That said, getting back to your question about dating someone with mental disorder. Probably the most important thing to consider is whether s/he admits that s/he has this condition and is committed to sticking to a path of treatment and can manage the condition well with medications, diet, therapy and the like. (Some people with mental illnesses are in denial or refuse to persist with treatment.
You can discover a latent health condition after you get married. And then become educated about this particular health concern and the way s/he is dealing with it.
We can’t possibly predict what will come down the road, but the things that usually never change are the middos, level of kindness and compassion, and intelligence. You might speak with your own physician, a Rofeh Yedid; however, some general practitioners do not know much about how some of the more nuanced conditions impact the patient.
No matter how healthy the spouses were when they got married.
Before dismissing a possible shiduch, listen to all the qualities of the person. You can also reach out to one of the many (Jewish) organizations that can be contacted for real life education/ knowledge/ information on various conditions and how they pertain to Shiduchim.
Additionally, it would be worthwhile to have a conversation with someone who has and/ or lives with someone who has the condition, to gain a real life insight about day to day reality. Do not miss out on a wonderful person, possibly your bashert – based on your lay person misinformation, ignorance or biases.
Which makes for a nightmare for those close to them.) This is a whole person; not a diagnosis. If they neglect their illness, or cope by taking drugs or alcohol, or take their feelings out on others, then it’s not ok.
But those problems are not exclusive to people with mental illnesses anyway; anyone can fall into bad habits like that.